This was written as part of a reflective journal I am writing as part of a uni assignment.

Right now I am getting quite worries about lesson planning. We were given a sample lesson plan in the unit Teaching Primary Mathematics earlier this week, and there was just so much involved! I think it was about three pages long, and that has only made me dread my practical placement. Because here is the thing.

I am lazy.

I am not joking around. Unless I think I will enjoy myself in the process, I will go out of my way to avoid doing something that needs to be done. I am the queen of pre-made food (although that is typical chronic-illness-spoonie behaviour). I will read in a room while the sun goes down, and strain my eyes because I can’t be bothered getting up. I will decline party invites, if it means I need to tae the train because someone is unable to give me a lift. I am lazy.

And I am not enjoying my Dip. Ed. Not like I enjoyed my BA in Library and Information Management. This Dip. Ed. is hard work, and very much focused on classroom teaching, which is something I dread. I really don’t want to be a classroom teacher. I want to be a children’s librarian. I only came back to uni because I couldn’t find a job. So the idea of writing endless pages of lesson plans for subjects I don’t like? Not keen.

I guess my greatest fear at the moment though is that my laziness will prevent me from putting in sufficient effort to get the passing grades I need to graduate (again). That after all this hard slog, I won’t be a good enough teacher [librarian]. That the kids in my care won’t learn.

So here’s hoping I can somehow motivate myself to write these lesson plans, and pass my practical placement.